forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
