I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
