Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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