she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
