fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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