You made me cry and you don't even care
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
