gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
