i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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