nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
