He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
