I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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