Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
