1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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