it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
