shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
