dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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