why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
