yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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