the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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