glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
