Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My pussy is not your playground.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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