I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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