When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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