Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
