I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
