My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
