This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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