Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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