Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
