Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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