Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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