i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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