Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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