"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
