Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
