He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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