angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
