Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
