Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
