So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
