Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
