Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
