You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
