youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
