Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
