let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
