i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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