Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
