last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
