Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
