hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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