Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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