you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
